So I've been MIA for a while. I apologize for that and maybe I'll get around to updating what has been going on in my life since my last post, but that's a story for another day. Lately I've become more aware of the pain, suffering, and unhappiness present in life. It's hard to miss it scattered throughout the media: war ravaged civilians in libya and the middle east, survivors of horrific natural diasters, and the list goes on and on. But even more illuminating than that is the every day trials and suffering experienced by ordinary people: friends, relatives, acquaintances, ect.
I am no exception to this occurence. I too have my own daily struggles, my biggest perhaps being my health. Despite being fairly athletic and eating a relatively healthy diet, I have always struggled with my health, and have been no stranger to the emergency room/hospital/doctor's office. In my 20 years of life I have managed to break 4 bones, have a screw put in my foot, 7 stiches in my ear, 7 stitches in my eyebrow, had a severe infection in my ankle from a minor scrape, sports induced bursitus in my elbow, swallow a quarter, and countless sprains, strains, ingrown toenails, and other minor medical problems. These were all frustrating as they forced me to sit out countless athletic events, endure much pain, and cost quite a bit of money for my parents. Perhaps the biggest struggle out of all of these health problems was being diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) my senior year of high school. Most days this isn't a problem for me, although taking a pill every day for the rest of my life is certainly annoying to say the least. But then there's what I call my "crash" days. I will wake up feeling, well lifeless. The closest explanation I can come up with is if you've ever had mono, and you just feel like you have no energy. That is pretty much how I will feel on these days. The problem is, I can't really choose these "crash" days, they just hit, especially when I have been expending myself too much. So I might have a test that day, or a bunch of homework due or a paper to write, or countless other projects. And if I have been pushing myself too much, my nose will just start bleeding for no apparant reason: in the middle of class, driving somewhere, laying in bed, in church, pretty much all the most inopportune times you can think of, I've experienced. It also affects the way I live my life. Staying up too late triggers these "crash" days. For a college student, this can be a bit of my problem. Being in engineering, I tend to have lots of homework and studying to do. But being as my body doesn't function well staying up late, I have to get this work done during the day, which means cutting out much of my social life and fun activities during the school year. On these "crash" days I sometimes struggle with pitying myself, wishing I could be "normal". Add on the fact that I just found out that I have to undergo testing because a chamber of my heart is too large, and the possibility of heart problems in the future, and it's not too hard to realize how I can get caught up in the trials in my life and start feeling sorry for myself and letting negative thoughts begin to fill my mind.
But I realized that everyone has these trials in their life, specific to each individual; and I was suddently reminded of the words Jesus spoke to his disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY and follow me." (Luke 9:23). Take up my cross daily; that's exactly what this hypertension is for me, a cross. A cross I must willingly bear. The problem is with how I have been conditioned. Growing up, media and society have constantly bombarded with the notion that I should be my own first priorty, specifically my comfort. If I'm hot I should have water to drink and air conditioning to cool me down; if I have a headache I should have medicine to make me feel better; I should have this and that because it will make me feel more comfortable. Life should be easy, atleast that's what the majority of people want.
As Christians we are called to much more. We are called to take up these crosses placed in our life. The Bible tells us multiple times to expect hardship:
1 Peter 4:1 "Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same attitude...";
James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
John 16:33 "In the world you will have trouble..."
1 Peter 4: 12 "Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you."
Psalm 24:20 "Many are the troubles of the just..."
Hebrews 10:36 "You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what he has promised."
Even St. Paul writes:
2 Corinthians 12:7-9 "Therefore, that I mgiht not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ""My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.""
But there is no reason to fear my brothers and sisters, for we do not have to face these trials alone, nor do we have to bear these crosses with our own strength. Just as the Bible warns us of these trials, so it also gives us hope and strength:
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strenth; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."
1 Peter 5:10 "The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ Jesus will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little."
James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him."
Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer."
Romans 5:3-4 "Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope,..."
Romans 8:18 "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us."
2 Corinthians 4:16 "Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."
So finally brothers and sisters, I leave you with this challenge: take up your cross daily, withouth complaint or self pity. Rather, offer up your suffering for others, and allow yourself to continually be purified and made holy through your afflictions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOOFAaUGfRE
