So I apologize for my extended disappearance as I was engaged in mortal combat (aka taking Engineering Physics 2). However, I have been victorious (finished the semeter with a 4.0) and after a brief period of rest to regain my strength, I have returned.
During that period of rest I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend the annual Quo Vadis retreat for the Wichtia Catholic Diocese. For those of you who are not acquainted with the retreat, the words "Quo Vadis" mean "Where are you going?" The retreat then, is exactly that, a time for men to ask themselves where they are going, but more importantly to ask God His will for us as we seek to live out God's plan for our lives in our vocation. However, it has been my own personal experience that the retreat is not often the place where men receive an "answer" to their question, or "the call," although for some I am sure it has served this purpose. Rather, this retreat serves as a chance for men to build bonds of fraternity with other men seeking the same question for their life as well as to provide the men with tools to better help them discern a vocation.
During this retreat something our retreat master said really struck me. During one of the presentations our retreat master said that you could really tell how much a person has grown spiritually by the questions they ask themselves and the responses to those questions. For example, in seminary our retreat master was asked by his spiritual director the following questions: Who is God? Who is God to me? and What's the difference?
While these are excellent questions to ask ourselves, another question arose within me during adoration and stuck with me throughout the entire weekend. What do I seek in the relationships in my life?
If you have some time I would ask you to stop and reflect upon this question in your own life.
As I began to ponder this in my heart at adoration, I began to answer this question by first examing the relationships in my life, beginning with that of my friends. At first glance many of my own friendships are based upon what I gain from them, chiefly comfort. Whether it's the comfort of being in their company watching a movie, playing card games, having someone to listen to me and cheer me up, or just the joy I experience from being in their company, many friendships are based on how that person makes me feel/treats me. I next looked to my relationships with my teachers and classmates. As much as I hate to put it into this context, many of these relationships are formed solely as stepping stones to help me reach my ambitions and goals; learning new material or studying to get better scores on tests to get a better job. Finally I looked at my relationships with my family as well as my brothers at Chi Rho (I could also lump some of my close friends into this category as well). These relationships are the ones that have the greateast impact on my life because these are the people I am with the most during my life. These people are there to hold me accountable for my actions and help me to grow to become a better man; to become the man God has called me to be. We are there mutually for one another, them to assist me in my faith journey, and me to assist them. Should this not be the goal of all my relationships on Earth? My relationships should be focused on mutually drawing both parties closer to God and closer to reaching eternal life in Heaven.
Just the other day I received some news that shook me up pretty well. For those of you who don't know, I come from a fairly small community where most everyone knows each other. During my years in high school the community was rocked by a series of tragic deaths and events, as well as scandals, affairs, and other forms of corruption. While watching the news the other night I learned that a former classmate of mine (only a year younger than me) was sentenced to 18 years in prison for a double homicide. This was a kid I had had in one of my classes my junior year of high school. The son of a former marine, this kid was very rough around the edges, and not liked by a large number of people. In class I treated him with respect, but never got too involved in his life.....and that is something that has come back to haunt me in the pangs of regret. Here was a kid who was reaching out, a son of God whom I had discarded from having any sort of relationship with because it was not a friendship that would bring me much "comfort" so to speak. I realized too late that my relationships were being founded on the wrong principles...of self rather than others.
The greatest example of a person living out holy relationships in their life, atleast in my humbe opinion, was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. From an early age she became aware of the need to save souls. This required entering into relationships with people that would bring her no "comfort" except to know that she was helping to save another soul for our Lord. I pray that all of us, myself included, would learn from Mother Teresa just how important the foundations of our relationships are as we seek to do God's will here on Earth, not our own.
